Setting Boundaries

(credit: Mindaugas Danys via Flickr)

(credit: Mindaugas Danys via Flickr)

Lately I’ve had some challenges with people who can’t or won’t set personal boundaries — emotional or otherwise. Loose emotional boundaries can result in childish hissy fits, and when a thirty-year-old has a hissy fit, it is not pretty.

Loose emotional boundaries zap energy, motivation, and trust. When there is a lack of boundaries, there is a lack of abundance.

One of the things my parents did when I was growing up was to let me know very clearly what my boundaries were. I knew what I could and couldn’t do. I knew what decisions I was responsible for and which ones belonged to someone else. Most importantly I knew how I could and should behave. There were consequences to inappropriate behavior in my home. I am so thankful for that.

That may seem harsh in today’s world where two year olds sometimes make the family decisions. But it helped me to build self esteem through self discipline. Structure worked for me. I felt secure in knowing that I owned some of my decisions, but I had parents who owned some of my decisions, too. Growing into responsibility worked for me.

And it still does.

Today, I’m responsible for a lot more things than I was as a youngster and that’s as it should be. I’ve grown into these responsibilities because I’ve learned to handle them gradually, mastering one skill before moving on to the next. Being able to set boundaries helped me do that. Working within a self-imposed structure keeps me directed and motivated. It’s doesn’t restrict me at all, but rather it sets me free and opens me up to a world of abundance.

I became an Improbable Millionaire by setting boundaries and working consistently, over the long term, to build security for myself. I saved diligently. I spent less money than I made — even in challenging times. I never went into debt. But I was lucky. I didn’t need or want excessive things. An amazing bargain pleased me much more than a designer purse or an expensive diamond ever would have.

And I learned to invest, but I set boundaries in that area of my life, too. No get rich quick schemes for me. It was day in and day out research, attention, and perseverance.

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About Liz Stauffer

Liz Morningstar Stauffer’s improbable journey—from a divorced mother of two at the age of 34 to a millionaire some 15 years later—has inspired her to create the blog “The Improbable Millionaire," offering tips, advice, stories and support for people on a similar journey—even if they don’t know it yet!

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